The State of the Automated Home

July 2017, Based on a true story

Evening 1

“Well the packaging is very nice. Right, I’ve got the bulb screwed in and it’s turned on. Now what? OK, I’m downloading the app. Oo, pretty! I like the visual design.”

“The light blinked, is that a good sign?”

“I think so! But it says ‘bulb not found.’ Retrying. ‘Bulb not found.’ Retrying. This isn’t working, maybe I should turn the bulb off and on again? That didn’t work either. Restarting the app. There it is! It’s acting like it saw the bulb the whole time.”

“It’s kind of bright.”

“I know, I’m working on it. Here we go! See? Here’s morning, here’s daytime, and here’s nighttime!”

“Very nice.”

“I know, right? Hmm, the bulb has four states but I have five buttons. Interesting.”

“So can I control it, too?”

“Of course! I just have to share it with you. Oh wait a minute, I need to create an account.”

“It won’t let me connect.”

“I know, hold on a minute, I am waiting for the email verification. OK, try it now.”

“It says I have to create an account.”

“I know.”

“I just want to turn it off.”

“I know, just create an account. You may need to verify your email.”

“OK, there it is! ‘Bulb not found.’”

“Never mind, it will turn itself off at midnight.”

“Good night!”

“Good night!”

Evening 2

“Did you try it?”

“Yes! It works now, see?”

“Wait, now it won’t let me control it. ‘Bulb not found.’”

“Huh, works for me.”

“Maybe I will turn the bulb on and off and see if that works. OK, there, I can control it again. I wonder why it didn’t turn itself on as per the schedule? Oh wait, I created the schedule but I didn’t actually assign it any days.”

“But now I can’t control it. Only one of us can control it at a time?”

“That doesn’t seem right, does it?”

“And yet, ‘Bulb not found.’”


Evening 3

“Well, I have an early morning tomorrow. Good night Sweetie!”

“Good night!!

Reaches under the lamp shade and turns the switch.

Jenea Hayes

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