Romulus: North American Woodland Ape

As Halloween approaches, and the veil between worlds grows wan, threadbare, and permeable, Cooper realizes that we can serve the spirit, spook, and creature population better if we understand them from a Goal-Directed perspective. In service of this we present a short series of Halloween personas. Today’s persona is Romulus.


Romulus has long been the subject of intense curiosity among outdoorsmen and thrill-seeking yokels. Seldom seen with human eyes, the general public tends to doubt his very existence, and yet evidence thereof continues to circulate, most often in the form of grainy VHS footage of creatures that look oddly like humans wearing gorilla suits. Romulus cherishes his privacy, of course, and he goes the great lengths to preserve it. And yet, he often feels as if he is missing something, and many are the nights when he he finds himself longingly gazing at a group of hikers laughing around a campfire. The loneliness of the wilderness can weigh on a soul, even the sturdy soul of a North American Woodland Ape.

Romulus: North American Woodland Ape

Challenges with technology:

  • GPS can be unreliable in wilderness redoubts of the Pacific Northwest
  • Fat, furry fingers
  • Replacing lost iPhone charger without being seen is almost impossible

How we can help Romulus:

  • Aid socialization without compromising his veil of privacy.
  • Provide better knowledge of “off the beaten path” routes in order to ease the stress of travel.
  • Make it easier to filter for ape-friendly options for B&Bs and restaurants.

Prior persona Metansiptah: Vengeful Mummy
Next persona Antone and Vladimir: Modern vampires
Cryptozoolists: Doug LeMoine and Martina Maleike.
Special thanks to WordPress User Lake Placid Film Forum for the use of their image.

The Editors

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